My God and My Country

A Discourse On Meekness and Quietness of Spirit

  Abridged from the Rev. Matthew Henry

Edited by R.P. Woitowitz Sr.

A meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1 Peter 3:4

Published by the American Tract Society

In Reference to our Own Anger (Part 2)

To indite a soft answer. This Solomon commends as a proper expedient to turn away wrath, while grievous words do but stir up anger,[Read Proverbs 15:1-2].When any speak angrily to us, we must pause a while and study an answer, which, both for the matter and manner of it, may be mild and gentle. This brings water, while peevishness and provocation would but bring oil to the flame. Thus is death and life in the power of the tongue; it is either healing or killing, an antidote or a poison, according as it is used, [Read James 3:8-12]. When the waves of the sea beat on a rock, they batter and make a noise, but a soft sand receives them silently, and returns them without damage. A soft tongue is a wonderful specific, and has a very strange virtue in it. Solomon says, "It breaks the bone," that is, it qualifies those that were provoked, and makes them pliable; it "heaps coals of fire upon the head" of an enemy, not to burn him, but tomelt him. "Hard words," we say, "break no bones;" but it seems soft ones do, and yet do no harm, as they calm an angry spirit and prevent its progress. A stone that falls on a wool-pack rests there, and rebounds not to do any further mischief; such is a meek answer to an angry question.

The good effects of a soft answer, and the ill consequences of a peevish one, are observable in the stories of Gideon and Jephthah: both of them, in the day of their triumphs over the enemies of Israel, were quarrelled with by the Ephraimites, when the danger was past and the victory won, because they had not been called upon to engage in the battle. Gideon pacified them with a soft answer: "What have I done now in comparison of you?" magnifying their achievements and lessening his own, speaking honorably of them and meanly of himself: "Is not the gleaning of the grapes of Ephraim better than the vintage of Abiezer?" In which reply it is hard to say whether there was more of wit or wisdom; and the effect was very good: the Ephraimites were pleased, their anger turned away, a civil war prevented, and nobody could think the worse of Gideon for his mildness and self-denial. On the contrary, he won more true honor by his victory over his own passion, than he did by his victory over all the host of Midian; for he that hath rule over his own spirit is better than the mighty, [Read Proverbs 25:28]. The angel of the Lord has pronounced him a "mighty man of valor;" and this his tame submission did not at all derogate from that part of his character. But Jephthah, who by many instances appears to be a man of a rough and hasty spirit, though enrolled among the eminent believers, (See Hebrews 11:32)—for all good people are not alike happy in their temper—when the Ephraimites in like manner quarrel with him, rallies them, upbraids them with their cowardice, boasts of his own courage, and challenges them to make good their cause. (See Judges. 12:2). They retort a scurrilous reflection upon Jephthah's country, as it is usual with passion to taunt and jeer: "Ye Gileadites are fugitives." From words they go to blows, and so great a matter does this little fire kindle, that there goes no less to quench the flame than the blood of two and forty thousand Ephraimites. All which had been happily prevented, if Jephthah had had but half as much meekness in his heart as he had reason on his side.

A soft answer is the dictate and dialect of that wisdom which is from above (Read James 3:17), which is peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated; and to recommend it to us, we have the pattern of good men, as that of Jacob's conduct to Esau. Though none is so hard to be won as a brother offended, yet, as he had prevailed with God by faith and prayer, so he prevailed with his brother by meekness and humility. We have also the pattern of angels, who, even when a rebuke was needful, durst not turn it into a railing accusation, durst not give any reviling language, not to the devil himself, but referred the matter to God: "The Lord rebuke thee;" as that passage in Jude 9 is commonly understood. Nay, we have the pattern of a good God, who, though he could plead against us with his great power, yet gives soft answers: witness his dealing with Cain when he was wroth and his countenance fallen, reasoning the case with him: "Why art thou wroth? If thou doest well, shalt not thou be accepted?" With Jonah likewise when he was so discontented: "Doest thou well to be angry?" [Read Genesis 4:6; Jonah 4:4].This is represented, in the parable of the prodigal son, by the conduct of the father towards the elder brother, who was so angry that he would not come in. The father did not say, "Let him stay out then;" but he came himself and entreated him, when he might have interposed his authority and commanded him, saying, "Son, thou art ever with me." [Read Luke 15:31] When a passionate contest is begun, there is a plague broke out: the meek man, like Aaron, takes his censer with the incense of a soft answer, steps in seasonably, and stays it.

This soft answer, in case we have committed a fault, though perhaps not culpable to the degree that we are charged with, must be penitent, humble, and submissive; and we must be ready to acknowledge our error, and not stand in it, or insist upon our own vindication; but rather aggravate than excuse it, rather condemn than justify ourselves. It will be a good evidence of our repentance towards God, to humble ourselves to our brethren whom we have offended, as it will be also a good evidence of our being forgiven of God, if we be ready to forgive those that have offended us; and such yielding pacifies great offences. Meekness teaches us, as often as we trespass against our brother, to "turn again and say, I repent." An acknowledgment, in case of a wilful affront, is perhaps as necessary to pardon, as, we commonly say, restitution is in case of wrong.

Post script

Brethren: We are instructed to forgive seventy times seven, (note that this was just an illustration and not an actual number). Likewise, we must therefore endeavor to seek forgiveness as well. If' we knowingly, or perhaps unknowingly cause offense, seek out that person, and apologize. We do well, to be quiet and thoughtful. To not speak rashly, or in particular anger.

The former behavior is most acceptable and pleasing to our Creator, while the latter only reflects badly, not only on ourselves, but on our Creator. Such quick outbursts of anger, (many times which are accompanied by expletives), prove only to the hearer of those words, that their assessments of us are as they first surmised; that being fools, whose only recourse in life is to berate others.

We end here, with the oft quoted words by Abraham Lincoln

“Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”