A
Discourse On Meekness and Quietness of Spirit
Abridged
from the Rev. Matthew Henry
Edited
by R.P. Woitowitz Sr.
A
meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1
Peter 3:4
Published
by the American Tract Society
In
Reference to our Own Anger (Part 2)
To
indite a soft answer. This Solomon commends as a proper
expedient to turn away wrath, while grievous words do but stir up
anger,[Read Proverbs 15:1-2].When any speak angrily to us, we must
pause a while and study an answer, which, both for the matter and
manner of it, may be mild and gentle. This brings water, while
peevishness and provocation would but bring oil to the flame. Thus is
death and life in the power of the tongue; it is either healing or
killing, an antidote or a poison, according as it is used, [Read
James 3:8-12]. When the waves of the sea beat on a rock, they batter
and make a noise, but a soft sand receives them silently, and returns
them without damage. A soft tongue is a wonderful specific, and has a
very strange virtue in it. Solomon says, "It breaks the bone,"
that is, it qualifies those that were provoked, and makes them
pliable; it "heaps coals of fire upon the head" of an
enemy, not to burn him, but tomelt him.
"Hard words," we say, "break no bones;" but it
seems soft ones do, and yet do no harm, as they calm an angry spirit
and prevent its progress. A stone that falls on a wool-pack rests
there, and rebounds not to do any further mischief; such is a meek
answer to an angry question.
The
good effects of a soft answer, and the ill consequences of a peevish
one, are observable in the stories of Gideon and Jephthah: both of
them, in the day of their triumphs over the enemies of Israel, were
quarrelled with by the Ephraimites, when the danger was past and the
victory won, because they had not been called upon to engage in the
battle. Gideon pacified them with a soft answer: "What have I
done now in comparison of you?" magnifying their achievements
and lessening his own, speaking honorably of them and meanly of
himself: "Is not the gleaning of the grapes of Ephraim better
than the vintage of Abiezer?" In which reply it is hard to say
whether there was more of wit or wisdom; and the effect was very
good: the Ephraimites were pleased, their anger turned away, a civil
war prevented, and nobody could think the worse of Gideon for his
mildness and self-denial. On the contrary, he won more true honor by
his victory over his own passion, than he did by his victory over all
the host of Midian; for he that hath rule over his own spirit is
better than the mighty, [Read Proverbs 25:28]. The angel of the Lord
has pronounced him a "mighty man of valor;" and this his
tame submission did not at all derogate from that part of his
character. But Jephthah, who by many instances appears to be a man of
a rough and hasty spirit, though enrolled among the eminent
believers, (See Hebrews 11:32)—for all good people are not alike
happy in their temper—when the Ephraimites in like manner quarrel
with him, rallies them, upbraids them with their cowardice, boasts of
his own courage, and challenges them to make good their cause. (See
Judges. 12:2). They retort a scurrilous reflection upon Jephthah's
country, as it is usual with passion to taunt and jeer: "Ye
Gileadites are fugitives." From words they go to blows, and so
great a matter does this little fire kindle, that there goes no less
to quench the flame than the blood of two and forty thousand
Ephraimites. All which had been happily prevented, if Jephthah had
had but half as much meekness in his heart as he had reason on his
side.
A
soft answer is the dictate and dialect of that wisdom which is from
above (Read James 3:17), which is peaceable, gentle, and easy to be
entreated; and to recommend it to us, we have the pattern of good
men, as that of Jacob's conduct to Esau. Though none is so hard to be
won as a brother offended, yet, as he had prevailed with God by faith
and prayer, so he prevailed with his brother by meekness and
humility. We have also the pattern of angels, who, even when a rebuke
was needful, durst not turn it into a railing accusation, durst not
give any reviling language, not to the devil himself, but
referred the matter to God: "The Lord rebuke thee;" as that
passage in Jude 9 is commonly understood. Nay, we have the pattern of
a good God, who, though he could plead against us with his great
power, yet gives soft answers: witness his dealing with Cain when he
was wroth and his countenance fallen, reasoning the case with him:
"Why art thou wroth? If thou doest well, shalt not thou be
accepted?" With Jonah likewise when he was so discontented:
"Doest thou well to be angry?" [Read Genesis 4:6; Jonah
4:4].This is represented, in the parable of the prodigal son, by the
conduct of the father towards the elder brother, who was so angry
that he would not come in. The father did not say, "Let him stay
out then;" but he came himself and entreated him, when he might
have interposed his authority and commanded him, saying, "Son,
thou art ever with me." [Read Luke 15:31] When a passionate
contest is begun, there is a plague broke out: the meek man, like
Aaron, takes his censer with the incense of a soft answer, steps in
seasonably, and stays it.
This
soft answer, in case we have committed a fault, though perhaps not
culpable to the degree that we are charged with, must be penitent,
humble, and submissive; and we must be ready to acknowledge our
error, and not stand in it, or insist upon our own vindication; but
rather aggravate than excuse it, rather condemn than justify
ourselves. It will be a good evidence of our repentance towards God,
to humble ourselves to our brethren whom we have offended, as it will
be also a good evidence of our being forgiven of God, if we be ready
to forgive those that have offended us; and such yielding pacifies
great offences. Meekness teaches us, as often as we trespass against
our brother, to "turn again and say, I repent." An
acknowledgment, in case of a wilful affront, is perhaps as necessary
to pardon, as, we commonly say, restitution is in case of
wrong.
Post script
Brethren:
We are instructed to forgive seventy times seven, (note that this was
just an illustration and not an actual number). Likewise, we must
therefore endeavor to seek forgiveness as well. If' we knowingly, or
perhaps unknowingly cause offense, seek out that person, and
apologize. We do well, to be quiet and thoughtful. To not speak
rashly, or in particular anger.
The
former behavior is most acceptable and pleasing to our Creator, while
the latter only reflects badly, not only on ourselves, but on our
Creator. Such quick outbursts of anger, (many times which are
accompanied by expletives), prove only to the hearer of those words,
that their assessments of us are as they first surmised; that being
fools, whose only recourse in life is to berate others.
We
end here, with the oft quoted words by Abraham Lincoln
“Better
to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all
doubt”
